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Have you imagined what it is like to feel dead when the little things fail to excite you like it did before?

Nearly a year ago, a guy named Amit on our second date said I was dead.

“What the hell does he mean by that?” screamed my mind.

I wanted to know the answer. He said it was my lack of enthusiasm.

Although only few things excited me but it was no reason for someone to say I was dead. I showed that his words had no effect on me but I could feel a tsunami rising inside me. His words were like a sharp knife that cut me deep.

Now, it seems funny how someone's insensitive comments could hurt me so much.   

Amit was not the first one to give those vibes. All my dates have given me subtle hints that I should loosen up and enjoy. I cannot blame them when my mind keeps shouting “Padmaja run”.

Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

I realized that the lack of enthusiasm resulted from my introverted nature.

People misjudge introverts. Blame it on the ignorance but most people do not understand our operating system.

According to psychology books, introversion is a personality trait characterized by a focus on internal feelings rather than on external sources of stimulation. However, defining introverts is just as tough as defining human personality.

Professor Jonathan Cheek, a personality psychologist and his colleagues have come up with a new model of introversion. They call it the STAR model, after the four different meanings within it: Social, Thinking, Anxious, and Restrained Introversion. 

The first type is social. Social introverts prefer to stay home with a book or computer and prefer to stick to small gatherings with close friends.

The second introverts is the thinking introverts. These people would replay a particular scene many times. They are the ones who think a lot. They are comfortable in social events. I happen to be thinking introvert. 

The third type of introverts, anxious introverts may seek solitude because they are not confident with their own social skills.

The fourth type of introverts, restrained introverts are like the perfect diplomats who prefer to think before they speak or act.

While introverts make up 40% of the population but still there is many gross misconceptions about this personality type. Misconceptions include that introverts are shy, unfriendly and lonely.

However, Susan Cain in her book ‘The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking’ says introverts can be warm, interested in others, and powerful in their own right.

Therefore, the question is whether we are born with these characteristics or we acquire it in this journey called life. A Quora user, Lucy Góes beautifully puts it as, “We all are a complex mix of both. It's just that one of these orientations feels more like home.”

Most of my life, I have tried to be an extrovert. I used to think that life would have been better if I was a little extroverted.

A poll conducted by USA Today cited 65% of executives believed introversion to be a barrier to leadership. However, the same article highlighted that roughly 40% of leaders actually are introverted.  Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Barack Obama are just a few examples.  Studies show that they are just better at adapting themselves to situational demands.

Introverts are good listeners, self-sufficient and super focused people. Albert Einstein who was an introvert said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s that I stay with problems longer.”

Introverts also make good public speakers. Introverts do the hard work, relish the fact that public speaking is not about them but about the message that they think and care deeply about.

Being an introvert is not a disease that needs fixing. Introverts are awesome people and I am so proud to belong to that clan.