Is it practical to walk away from people who don’t matter?

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

I came across this line on Instagram. After nearly three months, I sat down to write this article on how this line had miraculously shifted my perceptions on how I view people and relationships.

 

You see, time is the most valuable gift you can offer someone. At this stage of life, i.e. the late 20s, one has to be careful on how one spends their time. During my childhood days, my father always used to say that this is a learning stage where we make foundations for our entire life. He could not have been more right.

This has made me keep my travel plans and other things on hold for some time. It is not that I do not want to travel to beautiful destinations across the country. It is a temporary phase and I will resume my travelling soon. This is how my brain works. I want to focus on things such as improving my public speaking skills, writing skills and on people who really matter.

My intention is to spend more time with people who can help me grow and less time with other people.

I know that it sounds selfish. Let me clarify before you come up with your opinions. I am not exploiting the other person when I spend time with people who can uplift and motivate me. It is actually a two-way process.

Let us take the help of an example. So one Sunday afternoon after a meeting, I caught up with my friend who is a fashion blogger. At first glance, it may seem that we have nothing in common. That is not the case. Though we come from two different fields, what makes us similar is our zeal to excel. She shared how she makes her day more productive and I, on the other hand, explained to her the importance of savings and other things. At the end of the day, I went back feeling richer and maybe she did too.

When we spend our time with such people, we are inspired to achieve new things and be a better version of ourselves. They push us to venture into new territories and face our fears.

In short, if your days are filled with interactions that have no significance or don’t add to your personal growth, those interactions are useless. It is only when you cut people who don’t matter, people who are so toxic that they drive you crazy, only then you can have time for people who can encourage you to go forward in your life.

When awesome people surround you, life gets richer and more fulfilling.

Time spent with the right kind of people opens doors to endless possibilities that enrich our lives. I am lucky to be surrounded by people whose lives are not ruled by their bosses or official work. People who are determined to do much more than their day jobs, people who take up responsibilities that may not be financially rewarding. Members and friends from Toastmaster, a public speaking group, introduced me to Medium – a blogging site, writing classes, bachata dance, which in turn made me serious towards my blog, discovered slam poetry and realised that dancing in the clubs can be so much fun.

Lastly, I believe that one needs to compartmentalize people. One can categorize people into ‘must have’, ‘nice to have’ and ‘deal breakers’
‘Must have’ are qualities they must have. No compromise. For example, I value Integrity very much. Integrity is simply matching words with actions.
Sometimes a person may not have a certain quality in abundance. Humour is a "Nice to have" quality. However, if someone does not have it, it is no reason to reject that person.
Finally, ‘Deal breakers. I will definitely break with people who lie, cheat or support or harbour divisive ideologies.

These are just some examples. This exercise is useful in being clear about exactly what you want, will tolerate and will not tolerate in a relationship.

There is only limited time that we get on this planet so why not make every minute productive.