What i learnt from my ex-boyfriends

Just a few days ago, our equities editor was describing us the Harshad Mehta scam and how it revolutionized the whole stock market.

I have always believed that whatever happens happens for our own good. It makes sense too; to believe that everything happens for our good. This defense mechanism tricks our mind into seeing the good side of everything. In most cases, the good things do take a bit time to surface up.

I wanted it to apply and see whether it is actually true or not. Does every cloud have a silver lining? To answer that , I started with my love life.  People say love happens only once but I have lost track of the number of times I fell in love.

So starting with my first love, he was the kind of guy I thought I was meant to be with. He is a charming guy and had many friends whereas I was the loner. We hardly dated for five months but everything is still so vivid that sometimes it feels like yesterday. Seven years ago, he gave me something that remains with me: the love for writing letters. This later became my way of self-expression. Expressing emotions became easier on letters as one can describe every emotion with clarity where verbal communications failed.

I became good at writing letters and even won the first prize in letter-writing competition during university week. If maybe he hadn’t come along, I couldn’t have recognized this beautiful world of writing letters. Letters have the ability to touch lives as the words that go into writing a letter is pure and it comes from the bottom of the heart. Things always become clearer at moments of solitude and when it is seen from a distance. Once I wrote a letter to my grandfather stating that I have changed from an atheist to a believer due to some circumstances. The day he received my letter, he calls me up to say how happy that letter made him.

My second boyfriend introduced me to the dance realm. Earlier , I used to think that dancing is something not made for an introvert like me. Forget dancing , even  moving  my limbs felt like the toughest thing to do. Even though inhibitions continue lurking behind the surface but now moving my legs and hands feels relatively easier. It made me open to possibilities of learning different dance styles. I even went to a salsa demo class.

My third one and the extremely unlucky one taught me how to be strong. I was a girl when I met him and was a woman when I left. I realized men that can be horrible and selfish. They only think about their happiness and it doesn’t matter if the other person is all torn up from their actions. They can stalk you till the end of time and it is possible even after you change cities and numbers. During such times all one can do is be strong and be prepared for the worst circumstances. They can screw your future over and over again.  He taught me to safeguard my future zealously and not let people come close to me be it a girl or boy. If he had been like a normal boyfriend, I would have never realized the value of time and uncertainties of life.

The next one taught me that love may come with no excitement, no butterflies in the stomach.  As I grew up, it made sense to be in love with the person who understands me and have a lot of mutual interests to talk about. It should be more than blushes and fights ,although every relationship goes through this phase one time or other.

I always craved for people that gave me a new high. For some, the craze elongates for a longer time whereas for some it vanishes too soon. There is, however, another kind of feeling that is more permanent in nature. It starts without a rush. It is calm and things start happening slowly. The definition of ‘slow’, however, differs from person to person. These are kind of people one needs to hold on.

Being 24, I have realized that chasing those highs are unsustainable as it has crashed enough number of times. Relationships should not be overpowering as it is not the only thing in life, it should be like salt to enhance the flavor of life. Right now, the question arises is do we love so that we may have someone to flavour our life or is it organic, something we have no control over?  

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